


it’s okay, you can still continue dreaming

by springtine



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Slice of Life, canon compliant but in another sense, i love hisoka but this idea seemed really interesting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27918337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springtine/pseuds/springtine
Summary: Misha can’t help but lie. It was for everyone’s safety, too. Information was the most valuable aspect of spywork, and if they knew more than necessary… he can’t bear the thought of losing his family again.He doesn’t know how to tell them.
Relationships: Arisugawa Homare & August, August & Tachibana Izumi, MANKAI Company & August
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	it’s okay, you can still continue dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> i don't talk about august enough, so think of this as my lovemail! title taken from double face's [secret of metropolis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGn2_i5yTv0).
> 
> Day 6: **August, Nostalgia, Death**  
>  Day 7: **Free day** , OC day, Mankai in Gekka day
> 
> TW // blood ment, death ment

Love? Misha’s had a few thoughts about love, but not much on romantic love. There are multiple kinds of love and many ways they can be expressed. He thinks back. 

Was it love that fueled him to buy those earrings for July? July had looked almost insulted at first, but August saw how his expression gradually softened when he says that he bought them for him since it reminded him of July. He knows he still wears those earrings.

Was it love that fueled him to take in April? He’s been in the Organization for only a few years, but he still took him in. He remembers the light in the young adolescent’s eyes that day. It was the light of someone who wanted to continue living. August gave him another chance.

Was it love that fueled him to share that gingerbread with December? He saw himself in that little street kid, and he didn’t want December to feel lonely and cold. If he could still take him in, then why not? December was a nice addition to their family.

“Tsukikage, you’re next.”

“I think… love is pretty.”

Azuma chuckles, “That’s true, yes.”

“I don’t think I’ve been romantically in love,” he swirls his drink around, “but I’m happy with loving everyone in Mankai! It’s like a huge family!”

Izumi hums, “...Now that I think about it, the troupe really does seem like a huge, patchwork family.”

“A loud family at that,” Tasuku grumbles.

Tsumugi lightly laughs, “But it’s pleasant, right?”

“It’s better than silence, at any rate,” Azuma agrees, and Misha doesn’t miss the split second of sadness in his eyes. He laughs at how flustered Tasuku and Izumi seem when he asks Azuma about love. What he doesn’t expect is Homare’s disheartened expression and defensive tone when he’s asked. His roommate is as much an enigma as his own (fake) past is.

Misha feels those eyes again when they exit the bar, and he knows. He’s heard from Taichi the dirty tactics the God Troupe used to wreck the troupe. He didn’t expect to see such tactics even in this world. He’s thinking of confronting those eyes himself, but he knows it’s not a good idea. He can’t just wreck their reputation in the guise of protecting them… he’d have to smart about this.

Maybe he’d ask around the neighborhood when he could. He’d bring it up with Izumi about calling the cops on the stalkers since he can’t confront them himself. 

The costume's wings are a bit heavy when Misha holds them, but it’s weightless on his back. Helping with the costumes was a new experience, and it definitely makes him reflect on his acting. He wasn’t a theater junkie like Izumi, Tsumugi, or Tasuku, but he knows there’s still room for improvement in his acting.

Taichi cheers as he raises Uriel’s hood. He moves around to test the costume, and it’s surprisingly light despite the opaque cloth. He does a little twirl and gets into character, _“Her soul is already listed on the heavenly departure registry with a date. Cease this unwarranted interference.”_

Taichi’s eyes shine, “Misha-san! You’re totally in character! The costume makes you really angelic! Don’t you think so, Yuki?”

Misha deflates a bit at Yuki’s narrowed eye look, “Not good enough?”

“Of course, we’re facing off against the God Troupe. We can’t have subpar costumes,” Yuki begins threading a needle as he gestures to the door, “Get the other oldies in here, dumb dog.”

Taichi salutes, “Yes!”

“We’re not that old— OW!” Instead of a heated retort from Yuki, he only blinks at Misha’s yelp from the needle. He rubs at his eyes, “Sorry.”

“Yuki, you should probably take a break already,” he frowns. Yuki was so young. He didn’t need to keep working like Misha himself would in the past. It was like April’s tendency to overwork, and he dislikes it so much. He puts a hand on the boy’s shoulder to ease him away from himself, “C’mon, at least drink something. Just list down the adjustments for now.”

“But—”

_“Yuki-kun.”_

Misha dislikes using that stern tone, but he knew Yuki was just going to shake off his concern if he wasn’t strict. Yuki opens his mouth to retort, but Misha refuses to budge. The boy glares at him but lets out a sigh after a while, “Fine then. I didn’t expect two moms to be in this company. I know you’ll do something drastic if I don’t anyway.”

The rest of the Winter Troupe enters the room as Yuki puts down the needle. Misha waves his oversized sleeves, “Hey, everyone!”

Their jaws drop at the sight of his costume. Yuki gestures to mannequins tiredly, “Put them on.”

Misha hardly considers himself an angel, but Yuki's costumes are so well made that he can't just help but get into the whimsical nature of angels. They were always so otherworldly. Even Azuma, who was the sole human in the play, had an ethereal aura around him. He looks at the angelic figures of his troupe mates. He can't help but remember December. He's always had an angelic sleeping face, even though April says otherwise.

The fittings of the costumes end and they're kicked out of room 201. It's way past Christmas, but Misha doesn't mind it as he bakes gingerbread in the kitchen. Gingerbread was eaten with your family, even if it wasn’t Christmas. The smell of the cookies attracts the younger members, and soon enough, the kitchen is warm and pleasantly noisy. Juza helps him cut out cookies from the sweeter dough while the others cut out the more normal flavored cookies.

This scene in the kitchen feels reminiscent of his time in the candy store. Though he's been only here for a short time, he's sworn to protect these kids as much as he could. After all, he couldn't protect—

"Misha!"

He looks up to Sakuya, who was smiling up at him, "What about the icing?"

"Just pull out some sugar and eggs from the cabinet."

"Okay!"

Misha ends up watching TV with the kids while waiting for the gingerbread to bake. But as always, Misha ends up sprinting to the oven when they pointed out something smelled burnt. Some things never change, but it was oddly comforting that he hasn't grown from accidentally burning food. Yuki only sighs as Misha knocks on his door with a plate of gingerbread. He accepts it and shoos Misha off.

Halfway around the corner, he hears Yuki mutter, “Thanks, Ma. Tch, what a busybody… but I think everyone appreciates that.”

He couldn’t stop grinning as he returns to the lounge. 

Misha was used to hurtful words being thrown at him, but it hurt to hear it from someone in his family. _“Misha-san, you feign your memory loss and purposely omit your past. I do not know what part is a truth or lie.”_

He sighs as he gives the chopped carrots to Omi, who puts it into the soup. He knows the college student is eyeing him, but he doesn’t know how to bring up the rehearsal troubles. Misha can’t help but lie. It was for everyone’s safety, too. Information was the most valuable aspect of spywork, and if they knew more than necessary… he can’t bear the thought of losing his family again.

He doesn’t know how to tell them.

“...sha-san, Misha-san?”

He blinks and turns to look at Omi. “Oh, sorry. What is it?”

“You can have the first slice of the cheesecake,” Omi shifts, “I know you’re not supposed to have dessert before dinner, but… you look so sad. I hope it can cheer you up.”

“...Thank you, Omi-kun.”

This place was so, _so_ warm and accepting, even for a stranger who lied about getting evicted. Maybe there will come a day he can tell them the truth. But for now, he’ll just say that he doesn’t want to remember his past. It definitely fits in with his supposed story, even though he knows he’ll have to tell them somehow. _I’ll promise… I’ll tell them someday._

It’s the night before Sympathy for the Angel's first show, and room 205 is still brimming with energy. Misha’s light humming and the scratches of Homare’s pen on his notebook fills the room. Both of them are bound with restless energy from the thrill of tomorrow’s first show.

Misha admits that he’s had some difficulty sleeping with others in the room, but he’s gotten used to it. Homare had a different aura than April and December, but he’s family now. He can trust him. With that in mind, he’s able to sleep more easily.

He shifts around in his loft to face Homare. His roommate lies on his front with his elbows propped up, writing in his notebook. His blanket is on top of him. Misha crosses his arms and places his head down, observing Homare. He takes in his concentrated look, wire glasses, and lightly tousled hair. Along with his favored quill pen and the low lighting, Homare looks like a museum painting.

The poet doesn’t seem too bothered, not looking up as he asks, “Is there something wrong, Misha-san?”

“I told you to just drop the honorifics,” he chuckles, “and no, I’m just thinking.”

“Penny for your thoughts, Misha?”

“Death.”

Homare pauses to look at him, “That’s quite… unusual from someone as lively as you.”

“Is it?" he laughs. "Tsuzuru mentioned that this is the first tragedy that he wrote. But… do deaths always have to be tragedies? I know you definitely can’t be happy if a loved one dies, but… I wonder if there can be happiness in death.”

Homare hums, “I do agree that death has a mostly negative connotation. But I think it’s not all negative. With death comes the blossom of new life, just as winter gives way for spring to blossom. Death doesn’t always mean physical death, but I think it can signify the death of a past self.”

“Death of a past self?”

“Yes. Not throwing away your past self, but willing to take part in rebirth. You do not forget your past, but you accept your past and leave your reservations behind. By embracing your past self’s death, you can learn to look forward to the future. Perhaps you can even use the knowledge you know in certain moments in your new life.”

_Live for me, August. You can still leave this world. Go live in a world of light… you’re too kind for this world._

If he wanted to join his new family in the light, then… maybe he would let August die. It wouldn’t erase his identity as August. He wasn’t Agent August anymore… he was now Misha Tsukikage of the Mankai Company. He would honor December’s last wish, and he would someday find April too.

“Such a philosophical conversation has sparked my inspiration! Do you wish to hear it, Misha?” Homare’s eyes shine childishly in the low light. Misha smiles, “Yes.”

“Releasing heavy chains...the future’s dancing flames...reaching out for a new dream....the death of the past’s regime.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad you think so. Shall we go to sleep? I do believe the Director would scold us for staying up.”

“Yeah. Goodnight, Homare.”

“Sweet dreams, Misha.”

Getting stuck behind the famed Unopening Door was definitely not in tonight’s plans. Misha has taken to sitting on the floor calmly, fiddling with his ring. He’s unhooked it off the chain, and it’s on his thumb now. _Where it should be._ It’s been a while since he’s worn it like this. The ring is one of his connections to his old life, and it would definitely spell trouble for the rest of the troupe if anyone recognizes the ring. So, he keeps it on a chain under his shirt. He doesn’t want to get rid of it, even if it would make trouble one day.

It’s made out of stainless steel. He doesn’t quite remember where he got it, but it’s been there even before he found April and December. It has scratches, some tarnishing, and even some dents. He pretends not to see the dried blood on one side.

Misha fiddles with the ring anxiously as he thinks about April. He wants to get in contact with him. To tell him he’s alright. To tell him he’s sorry for not protecting December that night. To ease any of worries.

But he doesn’t know how to talk to him without getting Mankai in trouble. Everyone here is another family to him. He doesn’t want to lose them too, nor does he want to lose the last connection to his past. The way Homare talks about death and rebirth is wonderful, but it's hard. Even with December’s wish, he can’t and won’t leave April in that world. April is family. He won’t leave him behind. But he doesn’t know what April thinks. Was he angry at him? Was he mourning? Or did he bury his feelings in work again?

He shares his thoughts with Izumi as they wait for the others to find them. Even with purposely vague information, she nods.

“I understand your feelings, Misha,” she traces the pattern of the floorboards, “When I first came here, I couldn’t turn down Sakyo’s condition that I was going to be the director. I didn’t have any directing experience at first, but I love acting. It was the only connection I have left with my dad… so I didn’t let go of this theater. I don’t know what my dad thinks of my directing... but we’re now here, right?”

Izumi turns to him with a smile, “It’s not my place to say, but I think your brother would like both of you to stay happy. I think talking could go a long way.”

“Talking…”

“If you can’t talk to him, I think a play would have the same effect. Your true feelings come out when you think of what’s important to you. I’m sure he would understand!”

Would April understand? He knows April works fast and that he probably knows where he is now. If he were to watch the play, would Misha’s feelings reach him?

“Thank you, Izumi.”

“No problem.”

“For everything, I mean. Normal people wouldn’t invite a homeless stranger into a theatre troupe… but I do guess similar people gravitate to one another.”

“Huh?”

“You see… my brothers and I aren’t related at all. They were street kids, and I took them in.”

“You must really have a deep relationship then! I couldn’t have guessed that you aren’t blood-related.”

“We’re a family. And you, the Winter Troupe, and everybody else in Mankai is part of my family too.” 

“It’s a mutual feeling, then."

_Izumi has a beautiful smile... I want to protect everyone else's smiles too._

**Author's Note:**

> the idea of august's last name is from several tweets i've seen!
> 
> tell me what you think about this!!!


End file.
